The patriotic edition:
Crochety Old Man Ranting to Me as I Am on Hold With Medicare: This is just ridiculous. And do you know that they keep cutting my Social Security, too? Dammit, I pay more and more taxes every year! It’s all Obama’s fault, he’s screwed this country. I tell ya, if somebody assassinated him, I’d buy everyone a round at the pub! I would start a f%$&ing parade!